Whereas the rules of garden croquet have evolved haphazardly, the sporting version is controlled by the World Croquet Federation, along structured and demanding lines.

A game is basically a race between two pairs of balls, Red and Yellow versus Black and Blue. The player, wielding a mallet and usually dressed in white, has to hit his balls round a circuit of hoops.

Equipment is as befits a serious sport, not a toy pastime : the court should measure 28 by 35 yards (the size of two tennis courts).

Mallets are made to measure in high-tech materials. Each ball weighs half a kilo, and has only 2 mm clearance (the thickness of a credit card) to pass through the cast-iron hoops.

And never do you put your foot on the ball!